It was orange, goofy and uncomfortable. There was no way I was wearing it. As I stood staring at the ocean in front of me, a kayak at my feet and a paddle in my hand, the thought of wearing this ridiculous life-vest seemed unimaginable. I boldly tossed it to the shore, confident in my ability as a swimmer.
Three separate times I was tossed from the kayak. I remained in the deep water, paddle in hand, as I watched the boat rode the wave back to shore. Three times I made the swim back to the beach.
An hour before I was determined not to use the lifejacket. It was ugly, uncomfortable and in my mind, unnecessary. I could handle this. Fast forward a few minutes and pride and arrogance gave way to desperate dependance.
Here’s my paraphrase. Happy are the desperate and dependent.
If I’m not careful, sometimes the same ridiculous thoughts I had standing by the ocean can seep into my heart and mind. While I’d never be so bold as to toss my faith to the side, there are times when it does feel unnecessary. Aren’t there certain things I can handle on my own?
Sometimes walking with Jesus becomes uncomfortable, He may call me out on a sin or call me to step up as a husband and father. Sometimes a walk with Christ causes me to stand out and look a little stranger than I already do.
But, like fighting a current, and swimming with your hands full, a life lived in our own power is utterly exhausting. If we want to experience the kingdom of God, we must live a life of desperate dependance.
What are you desperate to see happen in your life?
What would it look like to live dependent on Jesus?
I had to laugh when I read your post. I had a nightmare of a whitewater canoe outing once. The details varied, but the outcome was the same. I began confident in my skills and ended with early symptoms of hypothermia after three unplanned swims in VERY COLD water. God does have a way of reminding us of our own frailty, and our need for Him. Thanks for sharing your story!
Glad I’m not the only one! Thanks!!
I love your paraphrase, “Happy are the desperate and dependent.” How true— that we let pride and arrogance keep us from experiencing to fullness God has for us.
And think of the freedom. When wearing the life vest, we can be more carefree. As we follow Christ we can be confident that if we mess up or go too deep He’ll hold us up and reset our footing.
Thanks so much!
A great metaphor! I step out a lot without Jesus as my life vest and I usually end up just as you did, struggling back to Him and grabbing on to Him for safety and guidance.